Simon Sinek speaks at Creative Mornings at NYC

Thank you. So, here's a little issue we have in America today there are currently about 250,000 people a year who are dying in our hospitals due to due to preventable deaths and I'm not talking about negligence I'm talking about little accidents right I'm talking about the doctor in the morning not properly briefing the doctor for the evening.

I'm talking about things that you know we can't sue anybody there's nothing there's nothing that we can see that's wrong but here's 250,000 preventable deaths every year that's about 20 747s going down every single week that's what's the equivalent to and the confusing thing is that we have the best doctors in the world we have the most advanced technology in the world some of the medical equipment we have is the best in the world the medicines we have are the best in the world so you start asking yourselves why are these things happening and the reason is not because of any of those things the reasons are actually something vastly more simple.

Something very very human five percent of hospital administrators are doctors most of them are number crunchers hospitals are run like businesses hospitals are run by the numbers and the problem isn't the people who are giving the care they're very highly trained the problem is the way those people are cared for because what we've done is we've created cultures and hospitals where the people who are doing the caring aren't cared for and so all of these little preventable deaths are happening because they don't feel like they're a part of anything, they're just doing their jobs and they don't get along that well and there's not a lot of camaraderie and the impact is death right now.

I use this example because it's exaggerated because the impact is so powerful but the problem is the same in our own companies right which is we come to work and we're told you must care for your clients you must care for your customers you must make them the focus of you do and yet why aren't the people who are managing us from the top caring about us so yes in a hospital the impact is worse but the impact that we're having on the outside world is just as bad in other words we're not working at our best we don't care for the things we're doing we're not helping each other is the most important part and the residual impact is that we are unfulfilled by the work that we do and when we run fulfilled by the work that we do we focus on the details and when we focus on the details we retract from each other when we track from each other we feel lonely and when we feel lonely cancer goes up heart disease goes up diabetes goes up in other words by going to work we're killing ourselves literally.

There's another study that was released not that long ago that says that parents who work late the negative impact that it has on their children is little to none they may feel guilty as parents but the negative impact that it has on the raising of their children is little to none however parents who come home from jobs they hate or don't love their kids are more likely to be bullies at school and now you think about the bullying epidemic we have in America right where there's this disturbing number of young children who are killing themselves suicides because of bullies.

The problem is not the schools and the problem isn't even the parenting the problem is the jobs the parents have this is the importance and this is the power of the work that we do in the places we go to work right most of us mean like we listen to the the the unemployment statistics they say you know we're all-time high record high nine to ten percent unemployment right and people go Mike oh that's terrible and I hear that number and I go well that means ninety-one percent still have a job right now granted we want to get that employment number up but that means ninety-one percent is still going to work the question is how many of them are coming home fulfilled by the work that they do and how many of them are waking up inspired to go back to work the next day if we don't love our works we don't look out for each other if we don't look out for each other we feel lonely if we don't feel lonely all these negative things happen

So, what example can I share with a creative audience about how to change this the United States Marine Corps I had the great honor last week of spending a week with the Marines I spent a couple days at Camp Lejeune and then I went for a few days to Parris Island to watch them go through boot camp and this isn't a room it's a remarkable remarkable human experiment that they're doing and even though they know what works they don't know why it works but they don't need to know why because they know that it works right but what's happening is they're taking a group of strangers people who don't know each other who were showing up and within a very very short period of time learned to trust each other so much that they would give their lives for each other right and we know everyone sort of anyone who's ever worn a human reformed knows that no one runs into battle for God and country it doesn't happen it's for the guy to the left of me and the guy to the right of me that's the reason they do what they do right and these sort of remarkable stories of heroism where people rush into very very dangerous situations to save others and they always ask the question why did you do it why would you risk your life why would you put yourself at risk for them and the answer is always the same because they would do it for me.

In other words what gives them the confidence to put themselves at great risk is the knowledge that someone would do the same for them we would put ourselves a great risk for our companies if we knew that our companies would put themselves a great risk for us but they don't so we don't now one of the things that's remarkable about the Marines and if you go read and you know this is the most I asked these young and they're 21 22 years old some of these of these lance corporals the grunts you know the guys the infantry I mean this is the lowest of the low the ones we actually send in to battle the frontlines and I asked them are you misunderstood in America and they said yes unanimously they all nodded I said what what do people think of you and one stood up and says they think we're baby killers I said how does it feel he says it hurts and when I say we'll tell me a story then that captures to you what it means to be a Marine the feeling you have of being a Marine tell me a story that captures it and I expected to hear stories of I took a hit and somebody saved me or I ran into a firefight and pulled something I expected these stories of heroism not a single story like that came out those stories exist but those aren't that tall the stories they told me that capture what it means to be a marine.

One of the stories they told me was a young boy in Afghanistan who would come around every morning and sell kebabs to the Marines and then one day he showed up and he was all beaten up and he didn't go to his parents for help and he didn't go to his friends to help he came to the Marines for help because he trusted them more than anyone else they told me a story that captured how they feel of a sevilla JH that had been overrun by the taliban and the residents of the village could couldn't go home because they would be killed by the Taliban and so they were just living by the river the problem was winter was coming and one of the the elders came to the Marines knocked on the door and said I need you to come down to the river and kill us and the Marine said what are you talking about he says if we go back home we'll be killed by the Taliban and if we stay out there we're gonna die slow deaths this winter it's easier if you just come and kill us please the Marines overran the Taliban village pushed the Taliban out a year later they went back to this village and people were playing volleyball these were the stories they told me that capture what it means to be a Marine they believed in doing good for others and the fulfillment they get when they put themselves at risk so that others may prevail is overwhelming.

This is not unique to the Marine Corps this is all human beings the feeling of fulfillment comes from doing something for another the feeling from fulfillment comes from the exertion of time and energy for someone else if you are walking to work and you throw a few pennies in a cup and you come to work and you say to your friends hey guys I gave a dollar to somebody homeless this morning what are you friends get it to say yeah good right I gave 20 bucks to somebody homeless they'd be like yeah good for you right what have you come in in the morning you say hey I gave up my Saturday and I went and paid missus painted a school in the inner city people go whoa cool wow cool and all of a sudden not only are they inspired to do something good themselves but the feeling that that you have persists the amazing thing is that when we do good for others that actually inspire others to do good for others this is provided for us primate illogically anthropologically it's a all part of the survival of the species you know sex feels good so that will do it so we can procreate and perpetuate the species but we're social animals and so we have to provide for the fact that we'll maintain strong bonds and build cultures right because that's what humans do we're cultural animals and so when we do good for others and we look out for those in our tribe we look out for those in our group it actually feels good.

Biologically releases oxytocin this chemical that's released when you do good for others is released and it makes you feel good the amazing thing is the more oxytocin and you have in your body the more you want to do good for others the problem is we've replaced this feeling the exertion of time and energy with digital communications we've replaced it with headphones we've replaced it with money right think about the invention of money right it used to be money you know used to be like you go to someone's house you cook them dinner and the deal was they'll do the dishes time and energy exchange for time and energy and someone said I'll give you an IOU right someone says I don't feel like doing the dishes so I'm gonna give you an IOU that I promise to do them another day right and that's what money is it is the promise for future goods or services the promise of future goods and services in other words we've replaced our own time and energy with promises for someone else to do it another day right in other words there's no exertion of time and energy and so the feeling people get is that I did something for you and you did nothing for me you replaced it with a piece of paper with an eye are you with a promise for future goods and services the way we find fulfillment is by doing good for others.

So, how do you get people to do good for others we all know this intellectually we know that it's good to do good for others but why don't we do it then why don't we do it and what the Marines learned is something that I completely did not expect they can't just yell at these guys to help each other that's not what happens there's a few things that they have to do first so we all heard of the obstacle course right the Marines have a thing called the obstacle course and this is where they they build an aerobic strength and Arabic strength muscle strength and it's timed and all of this good stuff they have another course called the confidence course and it's never timed and most of the obstacles on this course cannot be completed by yourself they must be completed in teams you have no choice that's just how it's designed and what they say is the first two weeks of boot camp everybody's there to outdo each other and prove that they're strong just kind of like when we start in a job would prove we want to show how great we are we'll work a little harder we'll do good work look how good my design is right it's all about us and how good we are right but they keep putting them in situations where they can't do things by themselves and what starts to happen very slowly they said.

After about two weeks they start cheering for each other now they get in trouble when they do but they start cheering for each other and then before too long you see them organically start helping each other and what happens is if there's one person who's weak and refuses to help each other the others or even if there's one person who's strong who's you know I was the star college athlete and they get to every the end of every office to call me just stand there and wait for everybody to finish and they don't help each other what starts to happen as organically the group starts to ostracize that person organically they get ostracized until they learn that the only way that they will get through this thing the only way they will survive boot camp is if they ask for help because they have no option the problem is no one will help them until they're willing to help another it's the deal we have to make it's called vulnerability and risk.

We have to take the risk to make ourselves vulnerable yes you might do something for someone else and they may not do something back for you that's the risk you run that's the risk you run it's not about it's not about giving everything to them and and sort of huge big overwhelming risk it's about little things and little things it's like going on a date right it's like if I went on a date with somebody I came home and I said after one date I said I'm marrying her baby like what are you nuts I'd be like I'm in love they're like but you're you this is crazy I'm like I know I'm in love she feels the same way and we both know it's nuts right now you know that you're gonna be like go on a couple more dates right we know instinctively that the strong bond that's create that that needs to be created first takes more than a week right we know that right but if I've been dating somebody for seven years and we haven't you know married you'll be like dude what is wrong right in other words we know that it takes more than seven days and we know that it takes less than seven years.

The problem is we don't know how long it takes somewhere in the middle all human buns are the same like when you show up at work when you show for the first time when you're new don't expect that people will look out for you and they won't expect you to look out for them in seven days it won't happen but if you've been working at a job for a few years and you don't have the undone teeth at the sort of the the absolute confidence that if you turn your back you will not get stabbed you can rely on somebody you can give them something nothing will go wrong you will share the credit no one will throw you under the bus if you don't have that in a few years something's wrong something's wrong I don't know how long it takes but I know that's more than a week and I know it's less than seven years and the Marines fundamentally understand that before anyone is willing to put themselves out for another they have to have self-confidence real self confidence you have to be confident in yourself and your own ability before you're willing to help another if you're insecure at all about your own ability it's an oxy it's sort of a paradox right how am I can I overcome my confidence you know my self-confidence.

We all have ego issues at all times you know we all do right but if I'm not confident myself I won't help another it's a paradox because then we need someone to look out for us before we're willing to help our peers right this is what management is supposed to do the drill instructors the school they are there our parents they are there for one reason and one reason only to help us feel strong and good about ourselves but look at the way we talk to each other little bit look a budgets been cut and so what do you get told I need you guys to do more with less right that's what we're told hey guys I need you guys to do more with less that's we're told by our clients by our bosses by our parents this is what we're told right that's like your parents telling you when you're young I no you're stupid figure it out right you're not as smart as the other kids what do you want me to do right it's the exact same thing I need you to do more with less right what we need to be telling people is I need you I need you to do more with what you have right you have capacity you have strength you have talent you have kapap ability I need you to do more with what you have.

We don't celebrate what we've got we criticize for what we don't have this is the responsibility of management to take us under their wing and help us understand our own value to ourselves close your eyes and think back to high school and think of that one teacher who took you under their wing and cared for you and looked after you and helped you realize that you are capable of more than you thought you were and you and you you probably are the person you are today in some part because of that person right do you have that name what's the name tell me the name tell me the name of the teacher okay give me the name okay I can point to anybody and you can tell me that name now tell me the names of all the other teachers you had that day can't remember them can you this is the power of those who teaches confidence we will literally carry their names around with us for the rest of our lives.

Wouldn't you want to be that person wouldn't you want to be the person that twenty years from now 30 years from now 40 years from now I can do this exercise with somebody and they will tell me your name this is the power of helping others realize their own strengths this is what management and leadership is supposed to be doing they're supposed to be caring for us and helping us realize our own value and by the way if you have anybody who reports to your works for you your responsibility is not to make them meet the deadline your responsibility is not to make sure that they do as you say your responsibility is to make sure that they understand their own strengths their own value and that they are way way more talented than they think they are and the only way they will learn that is if you put them in situations in which they can fail and you hold them and you support them and you give them talent and you give them skills and you give them education and you watch their backs and if they fall over you encourage them to get back up and if they follow the you carriage them to get back up and if they fall over you encourage them to get back up until they figure it out themselves it's called confidence it's your responsibility to help others.

Find it into others responsibility to help you find yours and the amazing thing is as soon as you start feeling confident in your own ability you naturally help each other that's what happens it's called trust in the military they give medals to people who are willing to sacrifice themselves so that others may gain in business we are willing to give bonuses to people who will sacrifice others so that we may gain we have it backwards and then we complain about how we don't love our jobs and we complain about how the work is suffering and we complain about how budgets are being cut and we can complain and complain and complain and the first thing we do is blame each other and become more selfish and worried about my pay and my benefits in my this and this is what happens when we are unfulfilled we look at the metrics and we say they're not good enough when we are fulfilled we don't care about the metrics this is why when you have a job you love and you get a call that says I'll offer you tons more money and great benefits you like I'm not interested I'm not interested I I'm not interested I'm very happy here but we'll give you more that's not the reason I'm here I'm here because I love it I'm here because I care for the people I work with and I'm here because the people I work with care for me this is the world I imagine this is the world I imagine and here's the great thing if you take little risks I'm not talking about big things little things if you start doing little things for each other.

The amazing anthropological response is other people will start doing little things for others - I was walking down the street two days ago and a guy's backpack was open and a whole bunch of paper fell out as he was walking down the street and I happened to be behind him and so my friend and I just sort of we were in mid conversation and in mid conversation we never even stopped talking we just bent down as would have helped him gather his papers and them back to him sort of pointed out that his bet book bag was his you knows back zipped and he said thanks and we walked out it was like no big deal right we get to the end of the the street we stand at that we're waiting it to cross the street we still talking we haven't stopped talking and the guy in front of us turns to us and says I saw you help that guy that was really cool but here's what's great about that the guy will go do something for someone else simply because he saw us bend down and pick up paper for someone else he will actually go do something for someone else because of it right he he won't give to charity because he sees me put a dollar in a cup but he will actually help someone because he saw someone also helps someone little things hold a door open for someone say thank you to the person hold the door open for you smile to the barista little little things you know put your foot in the subway when the door is closing.

So, someone who's running will make it hit the open at the elevator don't go or pretend you didn't see that's the best one you know if I saw sorry all right do it a little time and a little energy and you'll find around work that people give a little time and a little energy back to you and you'll give a little more time and a little more energy you go for a coffee with someone then you go for a two hour coffee and you go for a coffee and a lunch then you go for a lunch and a dinner then you go for a dinner in a movie and then you sleep over and then you sleep over two nights and then you go on holiday together and eventually you get married right it's slow it takes time and we can't rush it you know if when we rush it it's all fake do things for others and watch watch how much others do for you but you know go you go get yourself a cup of coffee from the coffee chute machine in the morning make one for someone else it takes a little extra time it takes a little extra energy that's the point that's the point and here's the best part you will feel so good at the end of the day so good thank you very much thank you.

Next month is Bre Pettis who is one of the founders of MakerBot he's gonna be speaking seriously excited and the funny thing is I ran into him about four weeks ago in a playground and I saw him sitting there I've never met him but I recognized him from videos that I've watched about MakerBot and I like while I'm chasing my kid is like can I go up to him this is weird it's a stall key can I do it is so I eventually I just pulled everything together went up it was like you're to make a buck guy right he goes yup and his wife looks at me you're a Swiss Miss I recognize your kids from Instagram so and and the next thing you know he's speaking next month how awesome is this and then for those of you who've been here in November at 11-11-11 who has been at the rainbow birthday parade well you should partake next Saturday because jesse has another rainbow birthday parade and she's actually trying to break a world record and having the longest rainbow birthday parade ever that watches over the Brooklyn Bridge and there's a ginormous marching bang gonna be here and Chris who's our audio/video guy he's actually in that band it's called them now I'm blanking on it the hungry March Bend yes I can't believe I've got just blanked on it so if you want to predict in this you should it's so much fun you need to dress in one color we're going to line up monochromatic Lee rainbow style and March so and you have to sign up at the largest rainbow parade that eventbrite.com please come it's super-fun bring your kids if you have kids that's it see you next month I hope thank you for coming out and thank you again Simon you