Guest Appearance on The Weekly with Charlie Pickering

 My guest tonight has written Creed's best-selling books and his TED talk on inspiring leadership is one of the most-watched of all time with more than 30 million views. When he talks it is impossible not to listen leadership is a choice.

It is not a rank I know many people at the senior-most levels of organizations, who are absolutely not leaders. They are authorities and we do what they say because they have authority over us. But we would not follow them as heroes for anyone who thinks they can do a better job than their boss. Please welcome Simon Tener.

Let's start with leadership.

okay, I think it's safe to say that the leadership in the world at the moment is in a bit of a state. It looks that way is that their fault or our fault. I think that our politicians are a reflection of us. I think when we indict our leaders and say that their divisive and that there they don't play well with each other. They lack vision I quite frankly think that's a reflection of us.

I think our politicians are a mirror and before we're so quick to criticize. I think we should look at ourselves and take some accountability. I think we're the ones that could be a little more open-minded to the ideas of others. I think we're the ones that could communicate across party lines and listen a lot better. I can say how do we do that because I mean when an election rolls around there are professional political outfits just feeding up media all the time.

I don't feel like Donald Trump ever picked up the phone and asked me to listen to any of his ideas well, Donald Trump was a rejection of the incumbency. I mean we've had a very divided Congress for more than a decade where it's become very left and very right and nothing in the middle. They've got nothing done their approval rating, is something like 9%. I mean it's really embarrassing, and I think people are just fed up with anything that looks like what we're used to, and so it's a shot across the bow to everyone else.

It's not necessarily about Donald Trump, it's a vote against whatever we have that makes a lady compared to a boss. So, a boss is someone who likes to think of themselves as the bus, I like to think of themselves in charge and a leader is someone who sees themselves in service to some higher cause and definitely to their people leadership is not about being in charge.

It's about taking care of those in your charge the closest thing to leadership is being a parent. Yes, you have all the authority, and yes you have all the power, but you're responsible for bringing up others around you helping them build their confidence and see that they can achieve more than you. So, leadership is exactly the same thing so what leaders inspire you who are your favorite leaders.

So, I mean I like all the big ones you know you're Gandhi and Martin Luther King, but there are a lot of leaders that, I turn to or look to for inspiration who are not public and not well-known many of them wear uniforms. I've become very close with some folks in the military.

I think they're misunderstood very often by the general public and I met people who I've cried with more than. I've ever cried with anybody in a suit, I've hugged more often than, I've ever hugged anybody in a suit and you know in business, we have things called colleagues and co-workers, But in the military, they have brothers and sisters, and it's that kind of intense relationship, that I love so much and learn so much about so you've learned a lot about leadership over your time and you are a motivational speaker.

You speak to inspiration well inspiration okay. So, is that just because a motivational speaker sounds so 90s 84, Yeah I just like it I didn't set out to be a speaker. I'm very lucky that I have ideas that people request me to come speak, But it's very self helps the whole but you know I think of yeah no not me for someone watching this what's something that I could do to be a better person saying their workplace or in their life.

Oh Yeah so, One of the things you can do is practice speaking last you know we're constantly told you have to be a good listener but communication goes both ways. You get to speak and you get to listen yeah that would literally not work it would be more joy wouldn't working a job well. So, Nelson Mandela is universally regarded as one of the world's best leaders you know different people are regarded differently depending on where you go.

But Nelson Mandela is important because everyone thought he was great and he was actually the son of a tribal chief and was asked by a journalist how did you learn to be a great leader, and He said when I was younger, I remember going to tribal meetings with my father, and I remember two things. One they always sat in a circle, and two my father was always the last to speak, and if you think about how we conduct meetings.

So, often we walk in and say okay guys here's the problem here's what I think we should do but I'm interested in what you have to say let's go around the room. it's too late you bias the room or people don't feel heard and the strength it takes to not say anything and not even give away. What your ideas are and let people contribute not only do they feel heard you, but Actually get the benefit of everything they have to say. So just practicing speaking last is a big one.

Now, we've already heard in the show tonight that Millennials aren't having enough, sex with terrifying and important, but is the future in safe hands Millennials a good hope. I think every generation is a good hope, I mean you know we never know what's going to happen they like every generation prior to them have been molded by the events of their upbringing, and there are some significant important things that we have to remember the greatest technology.

 As it comes with a liability the thing that concerns me, the most about the Millennial generation is the addiction to technology.

We're all addicted to technology, but they grew up with the addiction and the statistics are sort of alarming which is you compare it to alcohol and dopamine, which is the chemical that is released. When we drink smoke or gamble that makes us. Actually addiction to those things it's the same chemical that's released when our phones go buzz or Bing when somebody discovers alcohol and starts drinking prior to the age of 15 40 percent of them.

Will become alcoholics if they just wait until they're I think 19 the number drops down something like 8% and so if we're getting open access to an addictive device, like a cellphone or social media to kids under 15 the odds are incredibly high 40% will have an addiction later on.

In life and like all addiction it means they'll struggle with human relationships, they'll struggle to deal with stress, and this is what scares me so much. We have age restrictions on tobacco, we have age restrictions on you know alcohol and gambling, But we have no age restrictions on social media or cell phones and yet it's just as dangerous.

So, I love Millennials so many things are so open to others they're much more open than older generations to the sexuality or gender identity of others. They speak out when they don't when they work for a company that doesn't offer them.

 A sense of purpose or cause older generations just suffer in silence and hate their job it's called having a job, it's about having a job, that is part of it - Yeah, but and so I love them, and I'm hopeful for it, But I am concerned about the addiction and their ability to deal with stress. As adults a disproportionately high number will struggle you broke the internet. Recently when you said that Millennials suffer from what you called failed parenting strategies. 

I have a look at this they were told that they were special all the time, and they were told that they had anything, they want in life, Just because they want it some of them got into honors classes not because they deserved it, but because their parents complained and some of them got a is not because they earned them, but because the teacher didn't want to deal with the Parents. 

Some kids got participation medals you got a medal for coming in laughs. 

Wow, let's say some real support for that. Now, true or not it's a brave man who goes around telling parents. They're not doing a good job basically a guy without kids, Yeah that's right. So, where do you get off the funny thing is that most of that data comes from parents themselves. 

It's actually not sort of parenting experts looking back at parents and saying you screwed up, it's actually a lot of parents now looking back at what they did in saying, Ooh maybe, that no you know. So, if you look at the data it's actually the parents themselves and a lot of the things they tried parenting experts are also weighing and said, it didn't work.

 Um, I've got to say, I mean nightly suspicious of anyone Who is overwhelmingly positive all the time. Yeah, and I'm just curious what do you crap at, yeah I'm bad at a lot of things, I'm sort of a big baby, I can't like for me to get my lucky incontinent. 

Oh no, that's not something. I would admit on national, no I like for me to get my work done.

I actually have a like this for when I write a book, I shouldn't be saying this on television. Either, When I have to write a book, I actually have a babysitter that's what her title is she's my babysitter who comes over and her entire job is to just sit in my apartment, to make sure that I'm working, Because I actually I have no discipline. Otherwise, I'll just watch myself. 

So, you've got a nanny, I know she's a babysitter no not even at the level of a nanny, No I know she changed. You know there's no exact way that's remarkable because you say that out loud so it should be judged and the more you said Yes, it's that is exactly what I need in my life.

 I have to admit you know it works brilliantly it's just somebody who likes because I will just surf the internet otherwise all day and when somebody goes are you working out. Yes, you know we're working and having somebody there.

 I work better so my most productive days are when my babysitting is over now speaking of writing books your latest book the release in America and Taiwan. 

I think had a page that smells of optimism one page. Yeah, What does optimism smell like it I can't tell it's like what is, What you know what I know what I'm familiar with fear. Yeah, I know what that smells like yeah it's like bananas. I don't know I can't describe it. It's like how do you describe Beethoven's Symphony.

 It has notes and those notes you can play chopsticks or you can play a Beethoven symphony, and so the same thing goes in here there are notes of smell put together in a way that is complicated, and deep, and wonderful, and makes you feel optimistic highly recommend it.

 You could have a scent for the show, Yeah some would say it already does Simon has events in Melbourne and Sydney this week would you please thanks Simon to Nick [Applause].